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So, This is Fifty

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So this is fiftySo, this is fifty.

I’m not going to lie. I thought this was going to be a hard post to write. In many ways, it was. Truthfully, I’ve been dreading this day for the last 365 days. On my 49th birthday all I could think was, “whoa, I’m going to be fifty next year.” When I was in my twenties, I thought fifty was so old. As you can guess, I don’t believe that anymore. Sure, I don’t see that twenty-something girl staring back at me in the mirror. I know a woman now. Yes, she has a few more wrinkles and a few more pounds. But, she also has something else. Something more. With the time that girl has transformed through life, through lessons, through joys, and sorrows. This is something only time can give you. Wisdom.

Gone are the days of closing down the bar at 4:00 am, whoofing down cold pizza and a beer chaser, and sleeping the next day away. Nowadays, my evening looks more like a quiet dinner with my husband, a glass of wine, and in bed by 10:00 pm.

There are a few things I know to be true.

I no longer feel the need or desire to explain my behaviors and choices.

Be true to your dreams. It’s important never to stop dreaming, reaching, and achieving. You are never too old. This is something I hope I’m instilling in my children, by words and example.

People are most important.  We all get older, wiser, and change. But, the relationships we nurture will only become more valuable.

I’ve grown to desire simpler things, more moments, more memories, less stuff. The stuff doesn’t last.

Appreciate each day. Be grateful.

I love the feel of my used writing journal, a warm, cozy blanket, an embrace from my husband, the laughter from my boys, old photographs, and a good book.

So, this is fifty.

“How strange to see the wrinkles on the sides of my eyes growing and getting deeper the older I get, I laugh. A lot. This is the proof and they are the scars of my happiness.” – Tyler Knot Gregson

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